April is the Cruelest Month

Actually, April has been quite lovely here; I’ve been enjoying brief glimpses of it as I trudged back and forth to the library. But after three weeks I'd produced a ten page paper I could present in 30 minutes. Titled “A Brief History of Securities Regulation and the Role of Corporate Trustees in the United States and New Zealand,” it’s about, well, the history of securities regulation (really interesting) and the role of corporate trustee in the U.S. and NZ (less interesting, but half based on my area of expertise). I was rather proud of myself for being able to tie it all together coherently.

The research and writing were actually fun, or at least interesting, but I didn’t leave myself enough time to prepare for the presentation, so the night before I was feeling pretty anxious. I managed to sleep well, however, and was doing ok when the time arrived. There were 8 or 9 faculty members in the audience and, after thanking the Department Head for inviting me, I launched into my talk without hesitation. While practicing at home with Ali, my tongue seemed to get tripped up a lot and my delivery was completely wooden. But now my voice sounded more like I wanted it to, enunciating clearly and giving appropriate emphasis along the way.

The only problem was that, moments after I began, I was absolutely drenched in sweat. I’m not talking about a little perspiration here, but a total body soak. I could feel a drip on the end of my chin reappear every time I tried to discreetly wipe it away. The funny thing was, my body's reaction was totally disproportionate to what I was feeling. If it wasn’t so embarrassing, it would have been hilarious. People couldn’t even look at me, it was really that bad.

But, since I didn’t know what else to do, I just keep plowing ahead. Eventually it stopped, although every so often I’d feel another drop slither down my back. When I reached the end I just ignored the fact that I'd either had my first hot flash or was constitutionally unsuited to speak in front of groups. Fortunately, everyone else ignored it too and, after a reasonable number of questions and a little discussion, it was over. Now all I had to do was kill two hours and come back for my interview. (More on that next.)

Special thanks to all the friends and family who sent encouraging messages. They were very much appreciated!!!

Cheers,
Sandie